Saying "Yes" and "No"

Sitting with "Why" and "How"

Good morning beloveds, Have I told you lately that I adore you, us? This morning I am honoring the way we’re constantly trying to do the right thing with a constantly changing and often diminishing pallet of resources. I am thinking about how I said "No" to the way I had organized my life before I came to MVH. I was shaking a bit inside because initially I was afraid I was being selfish. I went to sit with my Why. A deeper intelligence guided me here to you, to home. A map of knowing Nos bring me, and us to this sacred moment. The Why in us is a powerful Yes. Our Service is a Labor of Love.


The How is navigated with a careful movement between Yes AND No. A careful consideration of all natural feelings. Gabor Mate, MD, a Canadian Hungarian family doc who is now very well known for his work on Trauma and Addiction wrote a powerful book called “When the body says No”. Each chapter is a gem about his work with patients and how our inability to listen to, speak and act on our No impacts the physical vessel of our being. Sometimes No is just the most pragmatic response. Sometimes No is hard because underneath it maybe anger, underneath which maybe fear, and often underneath that, sadness, and underneath that a self here to love and be loved. But on top of the No, above the anger, is always Courage. What is your, our bigger Yes? What Courage is called upon us as an individual in a team and as a larger organization? How do we make powerful decisions that honor Everyone while holding shifting and sometimes diminishing resources? Last week a dynamic RN on my IDG team reached out because our patient with a history of bladder obstruction said No to his foley catheter…. it was coming in the way of holding his wife close. We chose him over our medical logic, and pulled the foley with a plan of careful monitoring. His anger and seeming denial about his condition dissolved. Deep insight arose and that RN went home with grateful tears. How do we graciously allow our patients to say No to something we might offer so they can honor a bigger Yes? I am hugging this Maya Angelou quote today:

What I really would like said about me is that I dared to Love. By Love I mean that condition in the human spirit so profound that it encourages us to develop courage to build bridges and then to trust those bridges and to cross the bridges in attempts to reach other human beings.

I love you with all my heart.

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